Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Tankage. Sick. Hungover

Last week was a tough week for me. I had a string of really REALLY bad middle-o-the night BG crashes. It felt like nothing I could do was helping and I couldn't prepare for it. My activity, stress and hormone levels were as normal as could be. Nothing out of the ordinary. Until something was out of the ordinary.

I am prone to nypos (night time hypos). I always have been. I've mentioned before that Ryan wakes me up every night despite me begging him to turn off that goddamn 1:30am alarm. For a few nights I was hitting the low 2's (40's). Usually before the alarm and often and again at about 5am. Super annoying.

Then I hit 1.9mmol/l (34mg/dl) at about 12:30am. It was literally only 90mins after falling asleep. Blood. Sugar. Massive. TANKAGE. I usually use honey at those kind of lows because chewing is just stupid.

A few days later I hit a 1.7mmol/l (30mg/dl) again at 12:30am. This one was so bad I can't even...
Why am I not waking up like I used to?!

I got to the kitchen, found honey, swallow, stumble to couch, pass out. I rolled over and crawled back into bed at 2:30am and was only up to 4.8mmol/l (86mg/dl). Holy fuck. Did you read that? 2 hours to get to 4.8... At this time I was so sick and nauseous I took half a gravol and hoped to science I didn't tank again. I was terrified to go back to sleep and more terrified taking Gravol because it knocks me out so hard.

I knew what was coming for me! Does anyone else get this shit?
A bad low like that means that I am going to wake up 100% with a fucking hangover from hell. It happens all the time now and often during the daytime lows too just not as bad. Sugar upsets my stomach in a disgusting way. It makes me so sick I can't even describe the discomfort. What saves my life makes me want to kill myself over and over in a torturous murdering way. I HATE SUGAR! It's a cruel joke that brings tears to my eyes.

When I woke up to go to work in a gravol-induced haze I rolled over and took a Zofran and Advil and laid there. This is how I start my days when this happens. I don't waste my time with bringing much of a lunch to work and certainly don't waste my loving efforts on my breakfast smoothie. What's the point? it's just going to spoil. Bananas and rice cakes it is. Off to work I went. It wasn't until 1pm that I attempted to eat anything. I still rode my bike to work albeit slow as fuck because I'm so tired of something like this making me drive. I worked for hours trying to hide the hideousness that was going on inside my head and body. I was wrecked from lack of sleep and damn well nearly coma'ing. I've gotten so fucking good at putting on a face.

Advil and Zofran. Magical mystery buddies

I spent the day taking Zofran and Advil every few hours. This is how I've learned to get through the day. It's the only way I can function.

Is it the sugar? is it the low? What the fuck is it that makes me so bloody hungover beyond words? I wish desperately to call in sick but if I called in sick every time I'd probably get fired.

Some days I am working through the worst hangovers that you can't even imagine and you'd never even know.

The next few days I was afraid to sleep. I started setting a 12:30am alarm since that seemed to be the magical hellish hour. I was setting 3 alarms a night out of fear.

I don't know if it was just that week or what. Knowing what I know about diabetes I guess the fucking planets were aligned. They were aligned to try and murder me in my sleep. Thanks diabetes.

For the record, No, I don't have a continuous glucose monitor. Well, I still have my old Medtronic one but it's obsolete and only integrated with my old pump. Yes, I wish I had a cgm. No, I can't afford it out-of-pocket and no, insurance will not cover it. So yes, I have no other option.

Now I have to beg my Doc to write me a somewhat permanent script for Zofran even though she refused last time because it's the only thing I can take that allows me to function.


  1. That sucks ass scully. Now I know you know your shit but maybe reduce the lantus a bit? Do you split our dose? If so maybe do less on te nighttime one? Honey by the bed. Hope it gets better soon. Totally relate to "i hoped to science" cant even tell you how many times i try to logic my way through whether i should eat something/ take insulin before bed based on a particular #

  2. This is terrible and I hate it.

    Your picture of the medicines is very pretty though.

  3. Don't you make me light one of those fucking blue candles.

  4. Hey I am diabetic as well and I had a low sugar at 1.9 too. I simply drank 2 juice boxes but it went up to 4. something only... Next morning, i was at 10, which is a bit high but normal.


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