Thursday, May 14, 2015

D-blog week day 4 - ch..ch..ch.. changes

Prompt for today:
Today let's talk about changes, in one of two ways.  Either tell us what you'd most like to see change about diabetes, in any way.  This can be management tools, devices, medications, people's perceptions, your own feelings – anything at all that you feel could use changing.  OR reflect back on some changes you or your loved one has seen or been through since being diagnosed with diabetes.  Were they expected or did they surprise you?

Changes...

What does that even MEEEEEAN?

Change your lancet? Well I have a trick for that. It’s not really a trick actually just more of a TIP. Every time I open a new bottle of strips I put a lancet in with the strips. I store it all together so it's become just something I do. Grab a bottle, flip the lid, insert lancet, get on with day. I almost always throw it in my bag as I’m running out of the house and hopefully at some point in the next day I will switch out my lancet. So I somehow manage to change it with every 50 tests which could be every 3-5 days. I deserve a fucking medal for that yo.


I wish I could change my own perception on diabetes treatments. I am pretty pro injection now and I wish I had known how awful the insulin pump was going to be for me. I wish I hadn't tried so hard to MAKE it work when it just wasn't working. This left me really angry towards devices. Why the hell did I suffer for 5 years? Why did I think the insulin pump was the answer to all of my problems? How did I not see that it was just making it so much worse? This has left me pretty bitter towards devices and equipment of most kinds. I don’t want to be bitter. I’m trying to understand that it makes life easier for some people. I just can’t get over how terrible it made mine and often wonder how many other people keep plodding along with a less than perfect life-sustaining medical devices that would be better off the old school way too.

I should really work on changing my syringes out maybe once a day. That would be nice. They would probably leave a lot less track marks if they were fresher. Oh and I don't use a sharps container. Totally going to D-Hell and not gonna change that. 

I’d like to really change my attitude towards parts of the online diabetes blog world. It used to be such a source of peace for me but now it kind of really bothers me. There’s less and less personal blogs about people sharing their lives WITH diabetes. I know it’s not just me that has seen this shift. I’m kind of hoping this DBLOGweek is going to reconnect some long lost quality bloggers. If I’m being honest, I hardly read any blogs any more. They just seem so impersonal and full of news, gadgetry and conference talk. Blah, BORING.

I’ve changed a lot over the years with this disease. It started shell shocked, the Internet was in it’s infancy. I’d never met another insulin junkie before and it was a good 8 years before I would. I lived my life in relative solitude with diabetes. I then got really involved both with blogging and offline advocacy. I got pumped on Connected in Motion and my dedication to being on Team Type 1 (Now Team NovoNordisk). I was fueled by the absolute camaraderie I got from it all. Then I lost my shit. Anxiety and diabetes burnout pushed me into isolation where I’ve kind of been ever since. I could use a change again but since I'm totally honest (most of the time), I kind of prefer the lurking-in-the-shadows style now. 

Lastly? I miss blogging. I get into these routines where I get increasingly uncomfortable with sharing. Sometimes it just feels like I'm putting this shit out there with the goal of views and comments which is not at all the case. It's therapeutic for many reasons. Obviously my own perception but when you write a blog it just really feels self-serving. I know it's not because you guys tell me all the time but I have trouble shaking that. 

But on the contrary it's a double-edged sword because I DO enjoy stretching my writing muscle. So that's something I want to change. Write more perhaps.

Any way.. there's a few things that could use a change.  

For more blogs about today's topic, go HERE.

5 comments:

  1. It's been like two years since I read and commented on any blogs but some things never change. I still tend to agree with you lol First of all, your trick about the lancet in the strips container is going to save my finger tips-so thank you for that! And I felt the same feeling about pumps when I got off after 7 years. I literally asked myself why I put myself through that for so long when it wasn't serving me well. What you said about your feelings towards the DOC...I can totally relate to. Diabetes is big business and those business opportunities has infiltrated the blogger world. Part of me started thinking that aside from managing my diabetes decently, I should also be sponsored by some company to be successful with diabetes lol (crazy i know). You are a great writer and since you enjoy it I hope you do more of it. And yes, blogging feels self serving but readers of your blog REALLY appreciate your blogging, including me :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I remember reading a blog post a couple of months ago, and had to pause to ask myself "when did diabetes become all about devices?". I mean, I use devices religiously and can't see how I'd consider giving them up, but there was something nice about, back in the day, hopping on my bike with a box of raisins in my pocket (or a dollar for a candy-bar if I needed it) with the only rule to be home by dinnertime. These days, I feel like too many newly diagnosed kids are pushed to get a pump and a CGM and an iThing and a Share app. I mean, I believe there's a time for that and a place for that, and it has a benefit, but if the kid's going to be accepting of the devices, he/she has to come to the decision to use them him/herself. Not the month after diagnosis.

    For better or for worse, the diabetes blog world is changing. I think the emphasis on connecting has diminished (now that social media has made it so easy) and the emphasis on promoting and advocating has grown. Rather than being one of the 10 or so blogs in someone's regular morning routine, there is competition among hundreds. Sometimes, competition brings out the worst in people. Sometimes it makes them better. But you're bound to see both.

    Your blog feels self serving because it *is* self-serving. The personal connection is what makes it interesting and keeps me coming back and engaging in conversation. If you merely linked to other articles or further amplified existing advocacy campaigns -- without telling what's in it for YOU, do you think I'd find that interesting?

    You deserve a fucking medal, yo.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I would give you a medal if I could for changing your lancet so often. I'm a once-every-one-or-two-months sort.

    I never started my blog to be about diabetes, but it slips in there once in a while. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just stop talking about it because it seems weird and out of place.

    Finally, although I didn't participate in D-blog week this year, it is nice to see you back blogging.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Um, yes you do deserve a medal! I can't think of the last time I changed my lancet-oops!

    Great post. I'm sorry you went through such a tough time with the insulin pump, but glad you were able to fix the situation.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love your trick about lancets! I'm totally stealing it.

    ReplyDelete

Due to low life spam monkeys I am forced to moderate comments and I hate it (But I hate spam monkeys more)