Monday, May 11, 2015

D-blog week day 1 - I can

I have decided to try and participate in diabetes blog week. We will see how far I get. I reckon I may finish all 7 posts, just not on all 7 days.

I haven't done this in years but the topics this year actually seemed interesting to me whereas they didn't appeal to me in years past.

All credit goes to Karen at Bittersweet Diabetes for the brilliance.
For a list of participating bloggers, go HERE.

Today's blurb and explanation:
In the UK, there was a diabetes blog theme of "I can...”  that participants found wonderfully empowering.  So lets kick things off this year by looking at the positive side of our lives with diabetes.  What have you or your loved one accomplished, despite having diabetes, that you weren't sure you could?  Or what have you done that you've been particularly proud of?  Or what good thing has diabetes brought into your life?

Here's mine:

“I CAN”.

I have diabetes. Life goes on.

There, that’s the blog post.

Just kidding… you know I’m more of a blabbermouth than that.

Over the course of my almost 13 years with this disease I’ve heard a lot of “I can’t believe you do that with Type 1 Diabetes.” My response is always, “what else am I going to do? Stop living my life?”

Before I was diagnosed I was heavily into the outdoors. My passions were rock climbing, mountain biking and backcountry camping primarily. In fact the onset of the destruction of my pancreas was essentially a result of a climbing trip in a round-about way.

Climbing =poison ivy =a trip to the walk-in =a high dose of prednizone =overnight sudden onset of diabetes.

I have continued to live my life. Instead of looking at something and thinking “I can’t” I look at it and think “how can I make this work?”. Less than a year after being diagnosed I found myself in Taiwan on a teaching contract. I never once considered not going because of my disease. Instead I worked my ass off researching HOW I was going to make it work. I spent two years there. I figured out how the system worked to get my insulin and test strips. I backpacked around South East Asia for 6 months flying by the seat of my pants in countries with no access to insulin what-so-ever. Was it risky? HELL YES! In fact looking back, I’m not sure how I didn’t end up more sick. But y’know what? I don’t remember at all managing diabetes. Sure I remember a select few lows in bizarre places but I don’t remember dealing with diabetes. My memories are all about what I experienced there.

Yet the simple act of going to sleep at night is probably the most paranoid I get. The amount of times my body wakes me up in a panic because my glucose has dropped to catastrophic levels is way WAY too many. If I were to guess it would be an average of a couple times a week. What am I going to do? NOT go to sleep? We set alarms nearly every single night in hopes of catching it but it doesn’t always work. Just two nights ago I woke up in a panic soaked in sweat and unable to breath. The BG alarm wasn’t set to go off for another hour. So it doesn’t always go as planned.

If I want to go out on my bike for 6 hours. What do I do? Say “NO” because diabetes will fuck shit up? Diabetes is going to fuck shit up any way. I stuff my jersey with enough carbs to sustain a tour de France rider for a week along with insulin, syringe and my glucose meter. Can’t forget a credit card just in case I need to make an emergency purchase of either insulin or sugar. Oh, and my health card in case something really bad happens and I need to get shipped off to the hospital.

Other people go out with a house key and a bottle of Gatorade.

Again, what am I supposed to do? There is no NOT living my life and since this is the life and hobbies I chose, I am forced to make it work.

That time I had to get my insulin back from the police and this is what they put it in.

Yeah I’ve cooked, frozen, smashed and lost my insulin. I’ve had it confiscated. I’ve run out of both carbs and insulin before. I’ve forgotten it or my meter or the lancet or the strips. I’ve called for pick-ups from too many lows or highs making me feel sick. I’ve probably spent hours sitting on the side of the road somewhere low as fuck. I’ve stuffed too many things in my bra to keep meters and insulin from freezing. It’s always on my mind.

I just fucking do it not because I have to but because I want to. BECAUSE I CAN.

Go HERE to read all the other participants who wrote about DAY 1 - "I can"


  1. Those biohazard tubes are so cool! Can you get extras?

    Also: "Diabetes is going to fuck shit up any way." So right! That is a good attitude.

  2. I love how you put this into words. You rock!

  3. Come to think of it, of all the posts you've written, and of all the stuff that's gone on, I don't ever remember you saying "No" because of diabetes. That's impressive.

  4. Wow, a whole week of you! This is going to be fun!!

  5. "What else am I going to do?" This is great!

  6. You are impressive.

    But I'm totally curious about the biohazard story

    1. Here Joanne!

  7. Oh my goodness, those biohazard tubes for your insulin are crazy. Did you really say you cooked your insulin?!

    1. HA! I haven't literally cooked it per se, I just meant baked it in a hot car for example ;)

  8. Yes yes yes!!! What are we going to do, not fucking live our lives? Fuck no! Rock on, Scully!

  9. I love the biohazard tubes. I kinda feel like my insulin pump needs one :-)


Due to low life spam monkeys I am forced to moderate comments and I hate it (But I hate spam monkeys more)