The Problem: I hate structure
The Solution: I need structure
In order to be a competitive athlete there are many qualities one must possess. Determination, motivation, some other ‘tions. Maybe a certain modicum of focus and a little touch of perseverance. Oh and a 6-pack always helps but I definitely don’t have one of those.
I ran close to ten half marathons, three 30km races and one marathon. I trained for these all on my own, with little to no plan (except to just run - a lot) and very few friends or training partners. I’m not saying I ran these without training I’m just saying I didn’t have a day planner telling me what to do on what day. It’s not like I didn’t try. I spent days coming up with training plans from books, experience, other training plans and research. This one time I had an exact plan given to me for the race I was doing. You think I followed it? Not a fucking chance. I only loosely followed the long run distances but ignored everything else. Rest weeks? What are those? Tapering? Screw that shit. Hills and speed work? I’ll do that when I damn well please not when the godly schedule tells me to.
Needless to say, I kinda sorta really hate structure.
Okay, I don’t HATE it as in I want it to die, I don’t even dislike it. Actually, I want to be friends with it! It's not like I won't do the workouts I'll just do different workouts.
I'm such a loner.
It’s ingrained deep within my personality to scoff at all authority even if it’s on a piece of paper. Even if it’s my own damn handwriting! My genes are rebels and even though I am smart enough to be the boss, I feel like I’m a schitzo fighting with myself and this imaginary authority. If the paper tells me to do ‘x’ amount of anything I will go out of my way to make it so that doesn’t happen.
It really pisses me off.
Cycling is different from my years of running. When I ran, the goal was simply to finish. It wasn’t competitive with me. Cycling is a forced competitiveness because in order to “just finish” you have to be as good as the rest of them. Besides, there’s no such thing as “just finishing” in a bike race. Cycling is so heavily based on numbers. Functional Power Threshold. Lactate Threshold. Watts per Kilogram or Power to Weight Ratio. I have to be more serious about this if I want to get anywhere. No more cycling for the sake of cycling and ignoring that Garmin data. It's all about the data and I need to be all about paying attention.
I’ve tried and failed countless times to create and follow a training plan. Thing is, I know damn well that with a little guidance I just might get better. Go figure eh?
So this time it’s different (or that’s what I keep telling myself). In fact, I am telling me a lot of things I don’t want to hear. Specifically “shut the fuck up and do what you’re told. If you can stick to this there’s a good chance you’ll reach your goal.” So every day now the blinders come on. I am pushing me to do what I’m told. Sometimes I fight back but it’s okay, so far I have myself in a choke hold.
This time the dream far outweighs my stupid genes.