Let me correct that by saying I’ve had the occasional spoonful of almond or natural peanut butter (bleeeeah) but I have not had my beloved garbage Skippy smooth in all it’s glory. For the record lame-ass natural pb doesn't have the melty properties of sugar filled Skippy or Kraft when it hits my hot oatmeal.
Some of you may be shocked. Some of you might think I’m lying but I swear I’m not. "FUCK" look I swore!
For years (like half my life) I’ve had pb in my oatmeal ritually every morning. Then I started adding some chocolate chips. It helped entice me because it’s not always easy to get me to eat breakfast. When I knew I was getting melty pb and chocolate you couldn’t keep me away from it!
Then I started having problems. Like major problems. Problems that are TMI even for my liking! That’s saying a lot.
I started having these “problems”, let’s just call them: excruciating explosions and near vomittings, EENV, more.. often. In fact not so much often as after very specific food items. Can you guess what kind of food? FUCKING sugar. Seriously. FUCKING SUGAR!
Can you believe it? A type 1 diabetic who often relies on sugar as a matter of LIFE or DEATH can’t really tolerate said life saver? It’s preposterous and I thought it couldn’t be true.
But it is and it’s the worst thing when I need it to save my fucking life.
Pure LAME in a cup.
I had to remove my beloved pb and choco chips and have been eating plain ol’ disgusting, lame, boring oatmeal and chia. I grimace with breakfast instead of getting excited. I'm back to forcing myself to eat :(. I’ve tried a couple times to sneak in tastiness but the result hasn’t changed. EENV.
I can recount more times in the past few months where I’ve experienced EENV immediately after consuming a tasty. This “tasty” could be in the form of some gluten free baked treats. Even my own home made gf banana bread! Or too much juice or candy to treat a low. That’s where I freak the fuck out.
Clearly I have developed a very low tolerance for processed sugar. If I have a bad low I dread fixing it especially with anything but glucose tablets or else I suffer the EENV consequences.
This has left me somewhat fearing treats of any kind, even the kind I can have (gluten free). Even the kind I DESERVE sometimes!
I don’t know if my relationship with food could get any worse than it is now. I seriously don’t give a shit if Skippy is the “seagull of nuts” (Hi Steph! Haha). It was one of the few edible things left that I loved and now it's been taken away. It's not just the pb but what it represents. Most processed sugar things. Sometimes I get lucky and I'm not doubled over in agony but it's rare.
I am one very unhappy pb-less girl. :(
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