I've been getting a lot of questions about my choice to go back to injections. Most of these connections are people I know. What's more surprising is they are all from friends who are currently pumping and now wondering how to go back to MDI. Although I didn't know what kind of affect MDI would have on me, I also didn't realize it would influence others. Of the people I've connected with, they all seem to be in the same boat. At the point of ripping that damn machine off or go crazy.
So here is more of what I've learned and the way I have been making it work.
First of all, you probably shouldn't do what I did. I didn't consult a single doctor or nurse or CDE. It never even occurred to me because I've never had a doc that was any good. I literally slid down the slide without a single regard. I like to experiment, what can I say? I DID write down all my pump settings. When I was on MDI 5 years ago I remember taking 24 units of Lantus once a day. This time I was going to split my Lantus in half to help reduce the insane amounts of nypos (thank you Bethany!) so I immediately started taking 12u at 12 hours apart. My pump was giving me 25 units of basal insulin per day so that seemed fair. It wasn't enough though and I was high all day. I bumped it up to 14, still high. Once more I went up to 16 units twice a day. I sat at this dose for awhile. I was having at least two really bad lows during the night every night so I decreased my pm Lantus and now I take 12. I think it should be reduced to 10 but I prefer the lows over highs. If I've worked out hard that evening I may reduce it to 10 but more often I'll just eat that night with little or no bolus. If I am going to do a hard long workout during the day I'll reduce my am dose by 4 units.
As for the psychological aspects, I feel oddly LESS stressed. I absolutely ADORE not being hooked up. I feel AMAZING. I truly believe all that extra stuff was complicating my diabetes management. I was putting too much emphasis on all the little things and not seeing the bigger picture. Pumping made it all-consuming and in-MY-face. I spend so much more time naked now! I still do a little dance around the apartment after a shower. There's a certain beauty to my love life that never existed before. I even ENJOY getting dressed and not putting a single thought into "where is my external pancreas going to go". This is especially obvious when getting into my cycling gear. It's a kind of freedom I took for granted before.
I used to think insulin pumps were the answer to my problems but it turns out they weren't. Well they were transitorily important (makes sense right?). All it took was for me to go ape shit crazy that I wanted that gadget to die. I fought for many years for an insulin pump. I saw it as my diabetes nirvana, my control mirage. For many years it WAS. It taught me so much that I was able to carry that knowledge forth to apply it to injection therapy. I am smarter for it. I was never able to get my 'betes under control the previous years of injections and that was from the lack of knowledge.
I can't say for sure but this may be it for me. The key to my diabetic comfort and confidence. I see my endo next week so I'll get a good idea the affect of the past 2 months of injections has had on my A1C. I feel good about it though. I do have far less stories to tell and junk for my blog. No more stories about dunking my pump in a hot tub or posts about kinked cannulas, clogged tubes, infected sites and empty reservoirs. Perhaps I'll write more about LIFE with diabetes than the diabetes itself.
As always YDMV (your diabetes may vary). This is MY experience only.