How about when you are a bike rider without a bike?
My patience is wearing thin. As well as my pants feeling tighter and my sanity out the window.
When I got kicked off the team I lost my rights to Sexy Bitch (my bike of course) and had to return it. I am, however, now involved with a smaller local team which I’m pretty stoked to be on. I barfed up many dollars for a new bike and kit. The bike has come together with the help of MANY amazing and talented people, ebay and other awesomeness. It is SO close to being finished. Like we’re in the home stretch. There were a lot of hiccups and sidelines trying to get this machine to roll for me. Initially I was hoping to have a bike between my legs in a couple weeks. Needless to say I have been bikeless for over 6 weeks and that, my friends, is a shame!
Winter is a great time for training. Yes it involves a whole lot of cycling for hours while going nowhere but it’s a great time to work on specifics. 6 weeks is a long time to miss out on a lot of these key workouts and base building exercises. I was on the trainer almost every single day interspersed with some weekly jaunts to the escarpment stairs for cross-training. I was gaining and improving.
None of it helps though. I knew I wasn’t a good bike racer and was going to train my ass off this winter. Was going to. Being without a bike is like having a sports injury. The psychological damage is intense. I am stressed out and freaking out because I am essentially running out of time before race season. It’s like a nightmare. My anxiety is peaking and I’m starting to feel helpless which I know I shouldn't be but I fear not being able to get up to "speed" (pun intended). I don't know what this season will bring me. I don't know if by midway through I'll be tempted to never enter another race or if I'll actually be making improvements. I'm not one to quit but if I try enough and end up DFL at every race I'll be retiring my UCI licence.