Wednesday, May 16, 2012

D Blog Week Day 3 - One Thing to Improve




Today is day 3 and the topic is "One Thing to Improve" for Diabetes Blog Week
For more posts on this topic go HERE.

"Yesterday we gave ourselves and our loved ones a big pat on the back for one thing we are great at.  Today let’s look at the flip-side.  We probably all have one thing we could try to do better.  Why not make today the day we start working on it.  No judgments, no scolding, just sharing one small thing we can improve so the DOC can cheer us on!"


So as you can probably guess the number of things I can improve on far outnumber the things I do really well. Diabetes IS a disease after all. Not just any disease but a self-managed one with a bazillion factors and outcomes. Diabetes and exercise, for example, is a mindfuck. Every single experience delivers a different result. So each time I work out it's like a new lesson and I am continuously trying to improve on managing diabetes and exercise. I wouldn't say I'm anywhere close to being good at it even though I've been through the gamut of the myriad of things that can go wrong. Instead I'd like to think I'm good at rolling with the punches.


What I am working hard at improving on:
I need to improve on being more diligent and present with my insulin. This is something I've been consciously trying to work on for awhile. I've been putting concerted effort into reminding myself and asking myself if I am being present in the moment. I'm not exactly an "all-together" person though I may seem like that from some angles. If you spend any kind of time with me then you'll know I'm scatterbrained and rebellious. Also, because of my sensitive food issues and digestive disruption I tend not to sit down and eat large substantial things. 


Ergo I am a natural grazer and this doesn't always work well when you take into account the insulin that needs to be delivered, carb to insulin ratios as well as the active insulin time frame. I'll take a certain amount of insulin for the food that is in front of me. Then I'll add on a unit or two because I know I'll go picking around at something a little bit later. Unfortunately I'll pick more than I've bolused for. Then I'll forget how many carbs I've had or I will mindlessly nibble on things. We all know what that leads to, mindless nibbling should be outlawed for me. I end up chasing down a lot of highs and stacking insulin.


SO... I'm working on being more conscientious and aware. Paying attention and bolusing only for what I'm eating and if I want to eat something else, I bolus extra for that specific thing at that time. It probably sounds so elementary but it's been something I have to think about! I've done pretty well but there are times where I totally fall off the wagon and go ape shit just to spite myself. All the while hurting myself in the process.


You see, I'm not one for routine or structure, I DESPISE it. Might be something to do with my Sagittarius astrological sign. I'm a brat. If you give me structure, I'll do everything in my power to rebel against it even if I agree with it. I just can't help it!


So I've been going against my own grain to stay on top of insulin to carbs. I'm trying really hard to NOT be mindless. It's helped a lot just in my average BG readings but it's difficult to maintain for me.

7 comments:

  1. Honest, brave post. Nothing easy about what you're trying to do but it will certainly help you if you can do it. Which, miss stubborn, I'm sure you can.

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  2. I hate structure and routine too...HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT!!!! I have sometimes wondered why someone like me got type 1...or why I didn't have a naturally creature of habit type of personality. Damnit it would have been so much more convenient! ok...I'll shut up now. Great post. I can sense you moving past a psychological point called acceptance...which may help you more easily do what you want to do...be mindful with your insulin and carbs. Good luck Chris, I know you can do it, even if it takes plenty of time. (LOL I say this because I feel like I'm slowwwllyyyy starting to accept it...at least most days) Love ya!

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  3. spoken like a true saggitarius!! you will get there, because being stubborn works both ways. becasue you hate structure, you will rebel against it, but because you are stubborn you will fight to win! keep up the work, it will come.

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  4. Oh dear God...you mean Joe may not always carb count!!! And (gasp) just nibble here and there!? Ha...I have been noticing some of the above mentioned behaviors evolve over the past year. Trying to roll with it a bit and not be a crazy-psycho-d-mom-biotch. xo

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  5. I am a natural grazer too and I have been working on it for a year now. It is hard.....

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  6. Great post...well said! I loved the part when you said "there are times where I totally fall off the wagon and go ape shit just to spite myself"! That is so honest. I do the same and then get really pissed at myself afterwards.

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    1. Awesome post! I find it hard not to graze - I am also not a huge fan of sitting down and eating a huge meal, I like to eat small amounts....all day :)

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