Thursday, December 1, 2011

Like a Squirrel... on Crack

I miss you blog. I miss writing and ranting about stupid shit.

So I got fired from my job. It's not a story I feel like sharing because I don't feel the circumstances were just. But lets not dwell on the bad shit because less than 12 hours later I was taken back at one of my old jobs that I truly loved. It will be a bit different but I will be much happier there.

That's not the story I want to tell you.

I haven't been feeling like myself. I've been feeling like a fucking squirrel on crack. My heart has been racing, my nerves shot. I feel like my body is vibrating constantly. And no, not the good kind of vibrations. It feels like I'm constantly over caffeinated when I've only had one cup of coffee.


When I got home last night I did laundry, and washed all my dishes. I cleaned my house and was flip flopping around the house like.. well, like a squirrel on crack! I had trouble getting to sleep, I had trouble staying asleep and woke up wide a-fucking-wake at 4am. My alarm was set to go off at 4:30. I jumped out of bed like I had a full 8 hours sleep when really I only slept for about 4 hours.

I leaped around the house and got ready for spin class. It could have been 3 in the afternoon for all I knew. It didn't feel like 5am. I was WIRED!!! I found myself dancing to the music as I scraped all the frost off my car while it was warming up and the radio was on. I bet my eyes were bulging out of my skull.

I went to spin class, my BG's were a bit high which is fine. I don't use temp basals in the morning, I don't do anything special at that time in the morning actually. It's great. Spin class was a mind fuck. I couldn't seem to work out my body enough. When she said 70% I had it at 80%, so on and so forth. I was always a beat ahead and pushing it harder than EVER. It was never enough though. It wasn't enough for me to feel it. Yet the whole time in the class it felt like my blood sugar was plummeting but it kept steady on the slightly higher side. I could barely keep my eyes open yet, I felt like I had drank an entire pot of coffee. I was spinning away, sweating away yet I was feeling low. It felt like I was high on drugs, yet I was so sleepy. It was like I was in the twilight zone.

After spin class I changed into some less sweaty clothes and went and did a bunch of weight training. I still felt like superman. I did more reps than usual and still felt strong.

Then I came home, didn't even shower and crawled into bed. I needed to sleep like nobodies business. So I crashed hard for two hours. Gross right? Like, I need a shower big time but could barely make it to my bed.

Here I sit, I've just woken up from my nap and I am still vibrating. It feels like I'm low but I'm just fucking high (as a kite, not like High BG). I DO NOT ENJOY THIS FEELING! Let's get that straight. I don't know what's going on inside my body to make me feel like a squirrel on crack. I thought the nap would help mellow things out. It definitely did not. I was disappointed to discover I still feel this way.

what's wrong with me? I recently doubled my dose on my antidepressants as per doctors orders. But that was 2 weeks ago. I was thinking out loud to a good friend who has a bit more knowledge on these things than me. I thought that I am kind of sort of "happy" for real and wondered if that is causing too much of the good stuff in my brain thus making my worlds collide. As a result... squirrel on crack? He assured me not to worry. But I really don't like this.

8 comments:

  1. My meds always take 2-4 weeks to really show their true colors, so maybe it IS your antidepressants. Or it's just that you have had so much going on that your body is just pumped. I've had that too. Either way...good luck, Squirrel! Don't wear yourself out!

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  2. Are these symptoms a result of the medication side effects? I ask because I think I have similar symptoms from my medication. It's driving me nuts. I feel like...running through the forest screaming. Sounds weird right? But that's what I feel like I need to get this jittery feeling out! That or explode. Yes, exploding would "heal" me. Actually the squirrel on crack expression nails it. Sigh...hang in there! Though it sucks to feel the way you're feeling, I'm happy you are exercising. Oh and I'm happy you got the old job back since you say you like it there better. Good things in your future, I say!

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  3. I'm happy to read about your new/old job!
    Can you do some checking about the meds - seems like they may be the likely culprit...
    Or - send some of your energy to me!

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  4. How utterly frustrating! I wonder if there might be a meds connection...even if your wise friend thinks otherwise. Sometimes there are rare side effects and it's worth looking into at least.
    Hope it stops soon, whatever the cause might be!
    Vibrating when you don't want to is never fun!! ;)

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  5. I am new to the online community. I got type 1 at 44 and am enjoying reading blogs like yours. I use low carbing as a means for managing my blood sugars ( not quite a extreme sport but it is hard work and discipline!)
    I wish u the best on your journey and look forward to reading more.... J.

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  6. Ooh I hate that feeling, although I've never had it for much longer than a day or two at a time. I'm not on meds, and I found in my case it turned out to be sheer exhaustion. Could the stress of the job be stringing you out a bit? Hope the feeling passes soon. :)

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