Friday, September 16, 2011

Fuck You Diabetes

I need to rant.

FUCK YOU DIABETES!   no not duck foo... none of that "pretend" swearing shit.  We all KNOW what you're REALLY saying when you say "frick" or "frig" or recently I discovered "frack" from Battlestar Galactica.  HAHA.. Frack?!

Um yeah.  where was I, Oh yeah, FUCK YOU DIABETES!

My blood sugar management is usually pretty good.  Not amazing.. just pretty good.  I'm used to waking up in the 5's every morning.  I'm used to sleeping the night hanging out between 5 and 7.  Perfect.  What I'm not used to?  Spending my nights waking up every couple hours and bolusing 5units at a time only to set my alarm for 3 hours later and find out my blood sugar is even HIGHER. 

I'm not used to waking up regularly at 18mmol/l.  And guess what?  I HAAAAAAAAAATE IT.  I despise that feeling.  It feels like I've woken up with the fucking flu.  I'm antsy, I'm a bitch and I feel like absolute SHIT.  Talk about a good way to start your day on the wrong side of good.

It hasn't been ending there. 

Last week I spent my days high, every single god damned day.  It was the week before my period so I was okay with that.  Then my friendly monthly moster came and the blood sugars persisted to be high. 

Is THAT why my blood sugar wouldn't come down?

Hmmm.....

now what?  My co-worker whose-name-is-the-same-as-this-bitch-who's-throat-I-want-to-punch-thus-making-me-totally-despise-said-coworker was sick with a cold.  He sits across from me so then I started getting sick. 

Is THAT why my blood sugar wouldn't come down?

The past couple months I have been having trouble getting my sites to last longer than a few days.  Yes.. I fully admit to refilling reservoirs and using the same site. (SHUT UP D-POLICE) It worked for me with no problems.  I saved money and was able to use it on CGM sensors.  NOW, the sites start to hurt within 3 days.  When the pain starts, the blood sugars rise.  When I get around to changing it, the old site is always filled with white shit.  Yes.. white shit indicates infection.. irritation.  My sites are failing me.

Is THAT why my blood sugar wouldn't come down?

Last night was brutal.  I got a beauty reading of 19.0mmol/l at 7:30pm even though I hadn't eaten anything.  I dosed 7 units.  At 10:30 I was at 18.4mmol/l without eating anything.  I dosed 6 units.  I woke up at 1am and I was 13.4mmol/l and I fully intended to give insulin.  I laid in bed trying to do the math and then I fell back asleep before I could do anything.  UG.  At 4am I was 18.1mmol/l.  I dosed 5 units.  At 7:30am I was all the way down to 15.0mmol/l, sarcasm sucks in blogs.  I had my oatmeal breakfast because I was FUCKING hungry dammit.  I had gone without food all evening because I wasn't feeling well due to the raging blood sugars.  Within 2 hours and with close to 15 units of insulin running through my system I was at 18.4mmol/l.

Brand new site and all.

WHAT is happening to me?  I'm convinced I'm dying.  Sure as hell feels like I'm dying.

And why the fuck will my pump not let me set a temp basal over 153% at certain times of the day?  Oh wait...  my max basal rate is set for 2u/hr.  Better up that too.

I feel so awful.

What upsets me the most?  What are these raging constant high blood sugars doing to the tender parts of my body?  What damage am I causing to myself? 

-sorry US folks.. I'm too pissed off to convert everything into mg/dl.  forgive me.

12 comments:

  1. FUCK YOU DIABETES!! leave my family & friends alone!!!

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  2. Gahhhhh! That sounds terrible. Did you try a new bottle of insulin? Find a syringe and do a direct injection, now! I find those two actions take care of all sorts of confusing "my insulin pump isn't doing sh&t for my blood sugar" issues. Make sure you're not spilling ketones either.... And it's ok. I don't need a conversion to mg/dl to understand that your blood sugars are really high.

    In, the meantime, I will send empathetic F&CK YOU, DIABETES! your way, although I saying "Frack you, diabetes!" is much more amusing. My boyfriend made me watch a few episodes of Battlestar Galactica when the series was ending because although I watch sci fi shows, I hadn't watched BSG. Now we've gone back and are watching all of the seasons together...

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  3. Sending you low BG vibes from across the pond and a mahoosive fuck-off sized FUCK OFF to Diabetes too :D

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  4. BSG-Speak is always appreciated! Having said that, major Fuck Off to diabetes, I hope it starts behaving better, like now.

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  5. pretty sure the high BG readings are in Ontario. i woke up this morning with a 16.6 and within 2 hrs after bolusing we had a lovely 17.9 i'm gonna blame it on popcorn and hope tomorrow is better. in the meantime though...
    FUCK OFF DIABETES!!!
    from another D-Gal in Peterborough

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  6. Thank you guys for swearing along with me. Must have been the rant because my numbers are doing MUCH better. Not great, but tolerable. thanks.

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  7. Glad to read your comment above and know you're doing better. Still, fuck you, diabetes!!!

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  8. Oh hon I will motherfuckin curse this fucking bitch of a whore disease with u! Is that too much?

    D is a fickle fucker. It sucks!

    Hope things return to "normal" soon and you feel better! (((Hugs)))

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  9. FUCKIN' purulent hairy ass boil is what diabetes is!!! BASTARD. Mother Fucker. Dick Head. Ass Wipe. Douche Bag. I am hating this for you.

    AND...

    another description for "that time of the month" ~ how about "SHARK WEEK"?

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  10. Diabetes is, we all agree, shitty. I'm in the same league of swearing bundle of Anti-Diabetic sport players. Please take care of any unidentified Calorie or Sugar dominating your system. Try Natvia's Sweeteners (Natvia.com) to help yourself with 95% less calories. Take care buddy

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  11. I think, we should just learn to live with it. It is wicked to have affected us, I understand. But, thats the way it is. As Brain said, use sweeteners like Natvia (http:natvia.com). May be it will make our life and attitude sweeter.

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  12. This is a constant hanging issue.I hate this bloody diabetes.I am a type 2 having to take Metformin next.Any one got tingling sensations in hands? Happy New Year!

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