9 years ago today I was diagnosed with diabetes.
I wasn't going to write anything related to my "diaversary" because in reality, I'd really rather forget it.
Then I was talking to my parents. (HI PARENTS!) This time of year always sneaks up on me. I didn't know the exact date until recently when I went back into journals looking for some information and timing on something else.
I remember reading, "...Oh yeah, and I have diabetes now."
and that was it! No mention of anything else.
The Toronto Jazz Festival is going on next week and my folks used to go ritually every year. My mum told me that whenever the jazz festival is on it reminds her of one thing and one thing only. Diabetes. I didn't really make the connection until she explained further. My folks and their friends were walking down the street at the jazz festival 9 years ago when my mum received a phone call from me. I had just gotten home from the doctors office with a diabetes diagnosis. I had no recollection of this until she told me.
I asked her how she felt, what was she thinking when her 22 year old daughter calls her up and drops a bomb like that. She said, in one word, "devastated." They haven't been to the jazz festival since.
I find it oddly curious that I am running the 20k Jazz Festival Tune Up race this coming Sunday. Without even knowing it, I am sort of celebrating my diagnosis with a 20km race.
I remember leaving the doctors office 9 years ago, getting in my car and driving home. I remember sobbing like I've never sobbed before all the way home wondering if I would ever stop crying. I remember not knowing anything about diabetes ergo I was scared of the unknown. All I knew was it was bad. Really bad. Keep in mind my doctor was pretty useless and didn't even know which type of diabetes I had even though it was CLEARLY FUCKING OBVIOUS! As such I went 2 months after that visit untreated without insulin. Now THOSE two months are a complete blur. I don't remember much. To read my diagnosis story, go here.
So I don't plan to make it any different a day today. It's not something to celebrate but it is something I want to at least acknowledge. I've had diabetes for 9 years. I'm going to run a race.
I hope my parents will visit the Jazz Festival again one day. Here I am after 9 years of this wretched disease, healthy and alive guys.
Endnote: Insulin is not a cure but without it I would be dead.