I have a ton of things I want to post about swimming around inside my head.
I want to post about the joy of a hot tub aiding in long distance running recovery that I've recently learned. And how hot tub water does a great job at dissolving the adhesive on my infusion sets.
I want to post about my fantastic friends who have literally saved my life lately.
I want to post about my new job and the 2 other type 1 diabetics I now work with.
I want to post about my 24 km run that got cut short to 18 km because of an embarrassing rash.
I want to post about how my fitness is changing.
I want to post about being almost 8 months gluten-free.
............. but how can I possibly just chill out and spill my ideas when all I want to do is crawl into bed and suffocate myself? That's probably a bit harsh but not entirely off.
How can I post about interesting funny things when all I feel is complete lack of motivation. How? When it takes all my effort just to keep going. Keep running. Keep exercising. Keep waking up every day. Keep functioning and going to work and being human. These posts will have to wait. I may have perfected "looking" fine from the outside but it's hard to write about fine when I am really anything but fine.
These are the times where even the small things become huge tasks. Doing the dishes is like trying to push a 3 tonne boulder uphill in the snow. Laundry is like pulling teeth. I can only concentrate on so much throughout the course of the day. Get up, go to work and keep exercising. Then relying on my friends to keep me distracted with things like hot tubs, chocolate and good old fashioned shoulders to lean on.
I will get to my posts.
When every day ... ceases to be a such an uphill struggle.