Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Proverbial New Leaf

I've been rather vacant on the blog front lately.  I guess it goes in conjunction with my diabetes not being at the forefront of my attention and since this is a diabetes blog... well... 'nuff said.  Aside from my posts being vacant, however, I also haven't been reading as much and now I'm definitely starting to feel out of the loop.  Both of which are not good.  Reading and writing about this has been what helped me put more attention into it so I really think it's time for me to get back on track.
I'm just coming off of a long weekend as it was Thanksgiving here in Canada.  Thanksgiving always brings about new thought patterns.  It marks a real FALL time which in essence is a reality check.  The proverbial "turning over a new leaf".  It marks inward thoughts of what we are thankful for whether we are conscious of it or not.  I found myself spending a bit of time (okay a lot of time) this past weekend trying to center the spiderweb of a brain that I have.  It took a lot of energy to focus on what I am thankful for.  Things have been less than ideal for a long time now and I feel like I've really lost track of myself.  When I woke up this morning to go to work there was something different in the air.  I really feel like it's time to jump back on the boat and paddle my way out of this thick diabetes mess.  It is my number one priority.  Maybe if I put some conscious energy into it, it will pay off.  Maybe.  More often than not it seems to make things worse.  I know they can easily get a lot worse than they are right now but I really feel rotten.

So what am I thankful for?

1.  My family is number one.  That sweet little niece of mine never fails to cheer me up.  As well as another little one on the way shortly in the form of a nephew.

2.  My closest friends who have been here for me.

3.  My health, although failing at the moment I am thankful for the motivation I have found to put more effort into it.

4.  My driven perseverance to succeed. 

So yes, it's hard to look at the bright side when all you feel is dark on the inside.  I'm trying to be better.

First things first though, I have a half-marathon coming up in just under 2 weeks.  This brings a lot of unnecessary stress on me.  Albeit self-induced I did plan this for a reason.  It was intended to keep me focused on something, anything, in an attempt to get through a difficult time.  It has worked as planned but at the cost of a bit of my health.  I am a very driven person and try not to let anything get in my way of a goal.  Unfortunately I'm not sure if it was a good choice to make.  I will find out, in less than 2 weeks.  Eek!  After that... well... I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.  I will hopefully be on a better path that will lead me to better health.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful list of thankfulness...hope you're feeling back on track soon....and feeling happy. I wish happiness for you.

    Good luck on the run! That's awesome :)


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